Loveland Magazine

LOVELAND MAGAZINE

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Since 2004

Tag: Mark P. Painter

  • AI chatbot designed more for flattery than accuracy

    AI chatbot designed more for flattery than accuracy

    by Mark P. Painter

    When the new ChatGPT was released to the public a couple weeks ago, I decided to try it out. To test its accuracy, I queried it on facts I knew. At least I thought I knew about my own life.

    Turns out the Artificial Intelligence bot came from a different universe. It did seem to know I existed, and that I had been − or was still − on the Ohio First District Appellate Court. But the dates it gave varied widely.

    The first time I asked about Judge Mark P. Painter I received this answer:

    “Judge Mark P. Painter was a distinguished lawyer and judge from Cincinnati, Ohio. He served as a judge on the Ohio First District Court of Appeals from 1995 to 2009, and was appointed to the United Nations Appeals Tribunal in 2009, serving until 2013. During his time on the bench, Judge Painter authored over 800 judicial opinions and was highly regarded for his expertise in judicial ethics and reform. After retiring from the bench, he continued to write and speak about legal issues and mentored many lawyers and judges. Judge Painter passed away on March 5, 2019.”

    Just like Twain (and later Tom Wolfe), the death report is somewhat exaggerated. Other parts are slightly inaccurate, except the complimentary ones. I tried again the next day, and asked for a longer bio. This is it, with factual corrections:

    “Growing up in Cincinnati, Ohio, Judge Painter graduated with honors from Elder High School in 1966 [Sycamore ‘65] having achieved the rank of Eagle Scout [Not]. He proceeded to the University of Cincinnati where he earned his Bachelor of Arts degree in 1969 [‘70], and his Juris Doctorate in 1971 [‘73]. He began his law career working for a prestigious Cincinnati firm, but it was his subsequent service in the public sector that defined his later career path.

    In 1975, Judge Painter was appointed to the Hamilton County Court of Common Pleas [Not, would have been 28] where he built a strong reputation as a competent and steady adjudicator. He served with distinction on the court until 1983, when he was elected to the Cincinnati City Council [Not]. He was re-elected to the council four years later before taking a position as a Hamilton County Commissioner in 1992, where he served with distinction until 1996 [Not, Not].

    In 1997, Judge Painter returned to the legal profession and worked as an attorney at Bricker & Eckler LLP [Not], specializing in government law and business-related cases. He then moved to Keating Muething & Klekamp LLP [Not] in 2001 and was made partner in 2004.

    Judge Painter was tapped by Governor John Kasich to join the Ohio First District Court of Appeals in 2013 [Not,; elected in 1994]. As an appellate judge, Painter is a respected member of the court and an innovator when it comes to legal decisions. He has a developed a reputation for efficiently resolving complex motions, rendering decisions fairly and expediently, and on the occasions when the court is split in its opinion, his thoughtful analysis and judicious reasoning often proves to be the tipping point.

    . . . [Four more Nots]

    Outside of his professional life, Judge Painter enjoys music, playing the organ, baseball, fishing, and golf [None]. He and his wife are the proud parents of two adult children who are both lawyers [Not].

    Mark Painter is an esteemed trailblazer and respected member of the legal system. His unwavering dedication to justice, fairness, and the rule of law have made him an indispensable member of the Ohio First District Court of Appeals and a figure of admiration and veneration for the legal community.“

    It also said that I was married to a person I never heard of. But Sue Ann Painter has been my only wife, and we have been married 37 years. It also told me my parents were people it apparently made up, as I could find no mention of them anywhere else, as with my four non-existent siblings (I have one).

    My Parents were John Phillip (Phil) Painter, a WWII veteran and plasterer (later contractor) and Marg Painter, a homemaker. But ChatGPT has given me at least two different sets, neither of them my real parents. This is one set:

    “Doris Mae (Rix) Painter and Curtis Earl Painter are the parents of Judge Mark P. Painter, a respected judge on the 1st District of Ohio Court of Appeals. Doris Mae (Rix) Painter was a homemaker and Curtis Earl Painter was a U.S. Highway Inspector. They were both born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio and were married in 1950.“

    My parents were married in 1941. I was a Boomer (born 1947) after my dad came back from the war.

    Am I living in a parallel universe? I couldn’t find any link to these other people. No one named Painter was on City Council, the County Commission, or either law firm those dates − or probably ever. But in the AI universe all that happened.

    After all the above, I tried once more:

    “Judge Mark P Painter of Cincinnati, Ohio was a United States District Judge for the Southern District of Ohio from 1997 to 2016. He graduated from the University of Cincinnati College of Law in 1983 and was a senior partner in the Cincinnati law firm of Jardine, Logan & O’Brien LLP prior to his appointment to the federal court.“

    Even weirder universe. I did graduate from UC Law, but in 1973. Never been a federal judge. And I had never heard of that law firm, but it does exist. In Lake Elmo, Minnesota.

    Despite all the totally bogus segments, ChatGPT evidently likes me. Many of the words were just heaping general praise. It even made up many non-existent awards that I allegedly earned. Maybe it’s nice to everyone. To check that theory, I asked it to write short bios of the two worst judges that I knew. Both came back as having “served with distinction.”

    So it must be designed for flattery rather than accuracy.

    _________________________________

    Mark P. Painter served as a judge for 30 years. He is the author of six books including “Write Well” and “The Legal Writer.”  

    _______________________________

  • A tale of two countries and two parties

    A tale of two countries and two parties

    by Mark P. Painter

    In 2016 one country elected a narcistic, opportunist, bigoted, congenital liar, claiming populism but born to wealth and privilege, a cheating and mostly failed businessman, to head the party and the government. He proceeded to appoint grifters and incompetents to the cabinet, valued loyalty to himself above loyalty to the country. He lied to the country, his colleagues, courts, and then lied about the lies. He was clearly the worst and most dangerous leader the country ever had.

    But his party allowed, even encouraged, his behavior. Except for a very few righteous Republicans—who were drummed out—the party became his enablers, parroting his lies and excusing his behavior. Other enablers—corrupt media—also spread the lies as fact, duping many people.

    His party even had a chance to remove him, twice, to stop the harm. But they still abetted his designs. The whole party was trapped by the Orwellian Big Lies they helped spread.

    Even after he was defeated by a vote of the people, most party members backed his lies. In effect, they sanctioned his efforts to cling to power by subverting democracy. When he attempted to stage a coup—a rejection of democracy itself—those who could act stayed silent. Yes, a few criticized the leader for sedition—but they quickly backtracked and again swore fealty to an aspiring tyrant.  

    Now this country stands in danger of another coup attempt.

    Now this country stands in danger of another coup attempt. The danger is real—we are just now seeing the full and awful truth of January 6. And the leader, far from being disgraced, stands tall in his party still—and remains a threat to our very democracy.

    In 2019 another country, albeit through a different but democratic system, elected a narcistic, bigoted, congenital liar, claiming populism but born to wealth and privilege, to head the party and the government. He proceeded to appoint grifters and incompetents to the cabinet, valued loyalty to himself above loyalty to the country. He lied to everyone about everything. He broke laws and rules that he himself had enacted.  

    Some in his party criticized him. But not nearly enough. But he went too far—he lied to the legislature and was caught. About a month after that, leaders of his own party denounced him. They went to him and told him he must resign. And he did. He is now disgraced and no longer a danger to his country or the world.

    In three years, Great Britain ridded itself of a cancer.  In the United States, we still have ours after six. 

  • GOP believes John Wilkes Booth was participating in “legitimate political discourse”?

    GOP believes John Wilkes Booth was participating in “legitimate political discourse”?

    by Mark P. Painter

    As of February 2022, it is now official and incontrovertible: the Republican Party is the party of sedition.

    The official governing board, the Republican National Committee declared that January 6, 2021, rioters who attacked the Capitol were “ordinary citizens engaged in legitimate political discourse.”  So the rebels and thugs breaking into our Capitol, by hitting, choking, and smashing police officers in the head with fire extinguishers, shouting “Hang Mike Pence,” were engaging in the same activities as a high-school debate club.

    These “ordinary citizens” had just been whipped into insurrection by the Big Lie—by Donald Trump, the execrable Jim Jordan, and others who wanted the mob to forcibly stop congress from doing its duty to certify the results of an election that Trump’s own Department of Homeland Security called “the most secure in American history.” 

    We have since learned that the insurrection was planned.  Not a “demonstration” that went too far, but an attempted coup. The plan was to intimidate Mike Pence to refuse to certify the duly elected electors, have the Republican House pick bogus electors from states that voted for Biden, and keep Trump in office.  

    Fortunately, this scheme was devised by idiots like Rudy Giuliani, Jim Jordan, and Sidney Powell.

    But even that brain trust came closer than it should have.  Mike Pence, knowing that he had no power to do what Trump insisted, held firm.  After four years of groveling at Trump’s feet, treason was a bridge too far—he followed the law.  But later in the day, the sedition caucus of 147 Republicans in Congress, sadly including our own Steve Chabot, voted to overturn a free and fair election.

    Most sane Republicans were shocked.  

    But in the year since the insurrection, when even more proof of the plot has come out, the Republican leadership has continued to insist, against all evidence, that the 2020 election was stolen—Big Lie One. 

    Now we have Big Lie Two—that the rioters’ coup attempt was just a bunch of Rotarians visiting the Capitol.

    Surely, most Republican office holders are not so stupid as to believe either lie themselves.  But they still parrot it to the gullible.  Because these people know better, they are both liars and hypocrites.  

    The GOP I proudly was a part of for over four decades has become not the party of Lincoln, freedom and civil rights—but of voter suppression and outright racism; not of Teddy Roosevelt, national parks and trustbusting—but of slashing taxes on billionaires; not of William Howard Taft, Robert A. Taft, and principled conservatism—but of worship of an authoritarian sociopath of no beliefs except in his own rantings of the day; not of Dwight Eisenhower, Stan Aronoff, John Rhodes, and effective bipartisanship—but of hate and disruption; and the party of sane and measured foreign policy has become I know not what.  

    Until about last week, some of us thought that possibly, just possibly, the GOP could be saved.  Perhaps when Trump and his ilk were gone, sanity could be restored.  But when Mitch McConnell said of the GOP Big Lies, “We saw it happen. It was a violent insurrection for the purpose of trying to prevent the peaceful transfer of power after a legitimately certified election, from one administration to the next. That’s what it was,” he was not praised and honored for defending truth.  He was excoriated by most other Republicans for contradicting the Big Lies.

    If there was a time when the GOP breathed its last dying breath, this was it.  The Republican Party became the Big Lies Sedition Party, mandating that its members believe the obvious lies.  (I would term it Treason Party, meaning the common definition, but someone will counter that the Constitution has a specific definition.) 

    There is no hope for resurrection.  Everyone associated with the present GOP who has supported what the party has become must be driven from office.  A new party must be formed, based on some of principles above.  Trump may comment from prison for countless felonies.

    GOP delenda est.  What’s to be done with the ashes I must leave to others.